“Filth and Wisdom,” an 81-minute feature directed by Mrs. Guy Ritchie, had its debut at the Berlin Film festival. Variety says… well, it’s best to read the lede for yourself:

Claiming the films of Godard, Visconti, Pasolini and Fellini as her inspiration, Madonna hopes to “one day make something that comes close to their genius,” according to the press notes for “Filth and Wisdom.” On the evidence of this, her directorial debut, that day is a long way off. Ineptly written and helmed story of three Londoners, although quite bad, does have a few redeeming features. Madonna’s name will ensure some kind of distribution, but her already abundant riches won’t get any filthier off this.

“Although quite bad” is I think one of the more amusing concessive clauses I’ve read recently. According to reviewer Leslie Felperin, the plot is “desultory.” The writing? “Script credited to Madonna and Dan Cadan (whose credits list work as a runner and then as an EPK helmer for films made by Madonna’s husband, Guy Ritchie) is poorly structured and cheese-ripe with clunky dialogue.”

Mercilessly, the review continues:

Having contributed to arguably the worst films of some other big-name helmers (i.e. Warren Beatty’s “Dick Tracy,” John Schlesinger’s “The Next Best Thing” and Abel Ferrara’s “Dangerous Game”), Madonna seems to have learned little about directing from her experiences in filmmaking. Her stylistic approach seems most akin to that of late-’80s/early-’90s pop videos, wherein story is often revealed without dialogue in music-backed montages, the likes of which abound here. It’s as if she’s taken her video for “Papa Don’t Preach” as her main dramaturgical template.

The assessment ends:

Graceless editing further mars the tech package as a whole, while needlessly jiggly handheld lensing contributes to the pic’s generally cheap look.

The Hollywood Reporter is kinder, somewhat:

Ragged, uneven and potholed with some dire dialogue and performances, the film’s cockeyed optimism and likable leads conspire to bring a smile by the time it’s done. Barely feature length at 81 minutes, it will likely appeal to Madonna’s fans for its echoes of various threads of her own life story and the grunge style of “Desperately Seeking Susan.” To many, however, it will remain an oddity.