Words to strike fear into the hearts of even the hardiest kitschophile. Madonna’s directorial debut is called “Filth and Wisdom,” the title of which, based on the earliest reviews, would charitably be said to over-promise on both counts. After premiering at the Berlin Film Fest to amusingly bad reviews, the film, Variety reports, has been picked up by IFC for disribution this fall.

The story says there will be a theatrical run—presumably a short one—and a simultaneous video-on-demand availability. IFC is playing it straight:

“She took some interesting risks stylistically that all pay off at the end,” said IFC acquisitions and production veepee Arianna Bocco. “When I saw the film, I felt that it deserved a bigger, wider platform. Madonna and her crew are open to the kind of release we’re going to do, so it was a natural fit.”

Funny, just a few months ago she was, um, singing a different tune:

The low-budget comedy about three struggling flatmates in London could be made available first via download in the U.S. and U.K. and released theatrically elsewhere.

“I’ve been speaking to iTunes about releasing it through them,” the popstar turned scribe-helmer tells Variety. “I want the most amount of people to see it as possible. … I don’t like to do anything conventionally.”

How unconventional! The reviews are going to be fun to track on this one. Here’s a sample of what resulted from the Berlin screening:

Having contributed to arguably the worst films of some other big-name helmers (i.e. Warren Beatty’s “Dick Tracy,” John Schlesinger’s “The Next Best Thing” and Abel Ferrara’s “Dangerous Game”), Madonna seems to have learned little about directing from her experiences in filmmaking. Her stylistic approach seems most akin to that of late-’80s/early-’90s pop videos, wherein story is often revealed without dialogue in music-backed montages, the likes of which abound here. It’s as if she’s taken her video for “Papa Don’t Preach” as her main dramaturgical template.